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miko_no_da Jul. 11th, 2011 08:30 pm)
miko_no_da Jul. 11th, 2011 08:30 pm)Once again broken in two because the fic is too long, but it's meant to be all one part. This fandom, idek!
Title: Worth The Wait
Kink: Orgasm Denial/Control
Series: Homestuck
Pairing: John/Karkat, but some Sollux/Karkat snuck in there
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: It's a fic for kink bingo. It's kinky, and X-rated. 'Nuff said.
Length: 15450
Teasing can be frustrating, but it will all be worth it in the end - right?
It should have been perfect.
The game was over and the world had been restored - both worlds, combined together in a new multi-cultural environment that was a million times better than either had been separately. John had gotten over his issues about admitting that he was a homosexual, or at least admitting that it didn't matter because he wanted to be with Karkat too much to care about details like gender. They'd even managed to safely navigate the minefield created by their different definitions of 'love' and emerge on the other side with a relationship that was satisfying to both of them. It had taken them years to get it all sorted out, but it had all been worth it.
It should have been perfect, and it very nearly was, except for one tiny, niggling little detail. Karkat was surprisingly shy about sex. Or something.
Actually 'god-damned cocktease' was a better description than 'shy'.
'Shy' certainly didn't describe the way that Karkat practically attacked him the moment they were alone in the room together, lips sealed in a hungry kiss and hands diving straight for John's pants, fumbling with the fastenings in his haste to have his hands on John's cock. He'd already ruined more than one pair of pants that way, tearing the fabric with his claws, so John quickly helped him get them off.
Then he went for Karkat's pants in return, and felt encouraged by the way Karkat readily lifted his hips to help, making a needy noise in the back of his throat. Maybe this time, Karkat wouldn't get cold feet on him and back off at the last second. Maybe.
Maybe John wouldn't kill him for it if he did it again. Maybe.
"Yessss," he groaned, one hand digging into the bony angles of Karkat's hip, the other hand carefully coaxing his boyfriend's bulge out from behind the bony protective shield. It didn't take much coaxing - Karkat was already writhing in his hands, and it seemed like he was every bit as desperate for completion as John was. But he always seemed just as into it as John, and something always held him back at the end.
"C'mon, Karkat, please, please," John whimpered. They still had their shirts on, but it didn't really matter. Karkat's hand was on John's dick, pumping the way he had learned that John liked it best, and if he kept this up John was going to come in about three seconds flat.
Fuck, maybe that was the trick of it - he just needed to overwhelm Karkat with sensation so fast that he'd come before he realized what was happening. Surely, surely once they'd done it the first time, whatever it was that was making him so hesitant would be dealt with and they wouldn't have to go through this again.
He twined his fingers around the length of the bulge, stroking as much of the surface as he could reach. Karkat was panting and making the odd little rasping chirps that John had learned were the equivalent of moans for trolls. With an effort John forced himself to pull away from Karkat's hand on him, drawing a quizzical sound from Karkat. Before the troll could realize what he was up to, John dropped to his knees and had his mouth wrapped around the tip of Karkat's bulge.
They'd never done this before - between the exquisite sensitivity of troll bulges and the unbelievable sharpness of troll teeth, John was pretty sure it was an act that just wouldn't occur to any troll in their right mind. Karkat yelped, a sound that had more to do with fear than arousal, and dug his hands into John's hair like he was going to yank John away from him. But John managed to get his tongue on the bulge in his mouth before Karkat pulled him away, and Karkat shuddered and melted against the wall, fingers loosening in John's hair.
When John tentatively sucked on the soft flesh in his mouth, Karkat made a high-pitched warbling noise that was unlike anything he'd heard from his boyfriend before. The sound was at once both desperate and pleading, and John was sure he'd finally found the right way to push Karkat over the edge without freaking him out somehow first.
But then the shaking hands in his hair went tight again, yanking at him to try to pry him away, and Karkat was babbling at him in Alternian. John wasn't sure of the exact translation, but he'd heard that particular combination of buzzes and clicks often enough over the last few weeks to be pretty sure it meant something like 'wait, fuck, wait, stop!'
For a moment John was tempted to keep going, to ignore the increasingly urgent attempts his boyfriend was making to pry him off. Surely whatever it was that was holding Karkat back, he'd be grateful when John showed him that there was no reason for them to keep torturing themselves this way.
Then Karkat managed to croak out a single word in English, and though it was a little mangled it was most definitely 'stop', and John reluctantly came back to his senses.
He pulled back, panting, fighting the urge to punch something. Karkat, the wall, it didn't much matter, just something. He had absolutely, positively no desire to do this without his boyfriend's full and enthusiastic consent - but Karkat was amazingly good at making him forget that in the heat of the moment.
Without John's hands at his hips to help support him, Karkat's knees gave way. He collapsed down like a rag doll and ended up sprawled half over John's lap, arms thrown over John's shoulders to keep him upright, panting straight into John's ear. "Not yet," he was saying, over and over again, the English blurred by the effort it took him to speak the alien language when he was this overcome. "Not yet, not yet, fuck..." and then a string of Alternian far too complex for John to have any idea what it meant.
"Karkaaaaaat," John moaned, shaking with the effort it took not to thrust his aching cock up against the soft ass pressed into his lap.
"I can't, I can't, shit," Karkat moaned, obviously having serious trouble managing to be coherent in English. He closed the distance between them in a sloppy kiss, murmuring against John's lips, "I love you, fuck, you are... the most pitiful fucking creature on, on any planet, I love you so much..."
"I love you too, but you're going to kill me," John told him. The first time Karkat had kissed him and said those things after pulling away he'd been hopeful, but now he knew it was just his boyfriend's way of trying to console him before he withdrew completely.
As a last ditch effort John croaked out the phrase he'd begged Terezi to teach him, practicing over and over until she stopped laughing quite so hard and admitted that it was at least understandable. He didn't know the literal translation, but she'd told him it was the most heartfelt expression of pity a troll could make, something only ever said to a matesprit.
Karkat shuddered and went absolutely still against him, apparently even forgetting to breathe for a moment. When he did answer it was incomprehensible, but the emotion behind the foreign words was more than strong enough for John to understand - love, pity, whatever word they wanted to use for it, it was a confirmation of an unbreakable bond between them that both of them cherished above all else.
Then Karkat was pulling away, scrambling up on legs still barely willing to support him, fumbling to get his pants done up again. John just sat there and stared up at him, feeling dull and battered with the tidal-wave force of the emotions and sensations they'd just gone through in probably less than ten minutes total.
"I love you, fuck, why does this have to be so gog-damned hard?" Karkat groaned. "And you're not helping, damn it! Tomorrow, shit, tomorrow, I can't take any more of this."
And then he was gone, and John tumbled over onto his side on the carpet with a curse. His hand was around his dick probably even before Karkat was out of the house, but he didn't care. Tomorrow they would just go through it all again, and he had no idea why Karkat seemed to want to torture them both like this but it was going to drive John out of his mind.
He came hard, all over his hand and the floor, hips bucking up into his hand hard enough that he was probably going to end up with carpet burn on one side. Afterwards he lay sprawled out and panting, struggling to recover his equilibrium.
At moments like this, alone in his room and aching with the need to feel Karkat against him, John almost wished they'd never gotten past kissing. He missed the long hours they used to spend in each other's company, watching movies or playing games or just hanging out, enjoying their time together. He missed the long discussions about their feelings and cultures and how they'd grown up, or what they wanted to do in the future now that they had futures again. He especially missed the sweet, prolonged make-out sessions, hands and mouths tentatively exploring and spending half a day or more just soaking up contact with the boy that he loved.
Now they hardly ever saw each other for longer than maybe half an hour, tops, because the moment they were alone they were tearing at each other's clothes. It never took long to reach the point of no return, and then Karkat would flee, because they both knew that if they spent another minute in each other's company they were going to break down completely.
John felt like he'd lost a lover and gained a cockteasing sex buddy. He wanted his lover back.
EB: i'm going insane, i'm serious!
EB: he's a damn tease and it's killing me.
TG: yeah i hear you bro
TG: dating a troll is a one way ticket to blue ballsville on the cockblock express
EB: i nearly... pushed him too far yesterday.
EB: he said 'stop' and i almost didn't.
TG: dude not cool
TG: so far from cool youre roasting in the middle of a heatwave of epic proportions
EB: i know, i know!
EB: i'd rather kill myself than hurt him.
EB: but it's kinda hard to remember that when he's driving me crazy.
TG: just do what i do
TG: take care of it right before he comes over
TG: then you can chill and take it in stride
TG: fuck speaking of terezi will be here soon
TG: shes pretty damn close to breaking so its getting a little intense if you know what i mean
TG: but bros before hos so if you still need me...
EB: no no i'm fine, go ahead!
EB: no reason we should both suffer.
EB: good luck!
TG: yeah thanks
TG: you too
turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB]
turntechGodhead [TG] started pestering ectoBiologist [EB]
TG: dont worry it is totally worth it in the end
turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB]
Leaning back in his computer chair, John heaved a deep sigh. He hoped Dave was right - no, he was sure Dave was right. It would all be worth it in the end. Though he was a little confused how Dave would know that, if Terezi was giving him the same runaround that Karkat was giving John.
For that matter, Terezi and Dave had worked out their issues a lot faster than Karkat and John had. And Terezi was still holding out on Dave?
Groaning, John wondered if that meant he was never going to get to home base with Karkat. The thought was more than a little depressing, especially since there was still a part of him that would honestly rather have Karkat as a friend he could spend hours with than a lover he only got to see for frantic minutes at a time.
Damn it, he was not going to let his boyfriend run off again without talking about it this time. If he had to tie Karkat to the bed... mmm, actually, that wasn't a bad idea at all... no, wait. Talk, they needed to talk. Shaking his head, John smacked both his cheeks hard with the flat of his palms, trying to knock some sense back into his poor, hormone-addled brain.
One thing was certain; neither of them would be capable of doing any talking if they started off the same way they always did. Taking Dave's advice seemed to be the smartest course of action. Glancing at the clock, John confirmed that he should still have enough time left before Karkat arrived. Unless the troll ran the whole way between his hive and John's house, it usually took him at least twenty minutes to get there, and that was assuming he'd actually left at the moment he'd signed off.
Quickly undoing his pants, John eased his dick out and circled his fingers around it. He was already half hard - just knowing that Karkat was on his way over was enough to do that to him, these days. Tipping his head back, he closed his eyes and pictured Karkat there in front of him. It wasn't hard to imagine the troll perched awkwardly on John's lap, with one arm around John's shoulders and the other hand firmly on John's dick, squeezing him just the way he liked it.
And slowly, too - not the frantic pace they shared lately, but the way they'd done it when they'd first moved beyond kissing, when Karkat had been exploring his 'alien' body with a sense of fascination and wonder, and everything had been intense and new and wonderful. John remembered a day when Karkat had set out to discover every possible sound a human might make during sex, trying different combinations of touching and stroking to see what would affect John the most.
They'd had so much fun learning each other's hot spots and turn-ons. Even as the memory pushed John rapidly towards completion, it left a hollow ache in his chest and a lump in his throat that made his moans sound almost pitiful.
Part of him wanted to draw it out, to drag as much satisfaction as he could from this so he'd be that much better able to handle himself when Karkat was all over him in just a few minutes, but he knew he needed to be fast. Next time he'd start earlier, he promised himself, but for now even a fast, crappy orgasm would be better than nothing.
Squeezing a little harder, he started rocking his hips up into the motion, breath coming short as he neared the edge. He wished it was really Karkat who was doing this, wished he could feel his boyfriend's hand on his dick and hear the troll's voice in his ear.
"What the fuck are you doing?"
The words were so incompatible with the fantasy in his mind that John's eyes flew open, but it still took him a moment of befuddled staring to register that yes, Karkat was actually standing in his doorway, flushed and out of breath, staring back at John with a shocked and horrified expression.
With an embarrassed cry John jerked his hand away from his dick, but he had already hit the point of no return. Even without further stimulation he couldn't stop himself from coming, his whole body throbbing with the frustratingly insufficient sensation. It wasn't anywhere near enough, it only left him craving more contact. Preferably from the troll not three feet away from him.
The troll who was gaping at him with wide eyes, mouth somewhere around his knees and lower lip actually wobbling. He looked as if he was completely heartbroken. Heartshattered, more like.
"Kar...kat?" John gasped when he could speak again, feeling a painful fist squeezing around his own heart in answer to his boyfriend's expression. "Karkat, what..." Unthinking he pushed himself up out of the chair and reached out, driven to do anything to wipe that look off Karkat's face.
Hissing at him, Karkat smacked his hand away before he could make contact, not bothering to be careful of his claws. John yelped and cradled his now-bleeding hand against his chest. "Don't touch me," Karkat snarled at him, the words barely understandable in his fury. The heartbreak was rapidly being replaced by rage and betrayal, and he took three quick steps back to put him firmly out of John's reach. "Don't you fucking touch me, you piece of utter shit. Fuck, you give shit a bad name. Shit is so much better than you, it might as well be on a higher fucking plane of existence. I'd rather fuck a piece of shit than you!"
"What?" Thoroughly confused and more than a little hurt, John frantically tried to make sense of the situation. It was kind of embarrassing for Karkat to catch him jerking off like that, and he'd expected maybe to endure quite a lot of teasing about not being able to wait, but he couldn't understand why Karkat would be so mad at him.
"You can take your pathetic, cheating cock and stuff it up your prankster's gambit," Karkat shouted at him, practically vibrating with anger. "Sure as shit that gambit is the only thing you're ever going to fill, you grubfucking nookwiff. No, you know what, even grubs would refuse to fuck you. They would slither right out of your slimy little hands and smash their own brains out on the ground before they'd let you touch them."
"Karkat!" Now John was starting to feel angry as well as bewildered, if only in response to the utter rage Karkat was spewing at him. "Will you stop ranting at me and start making sense? What are you even so mad about?"
"Don't give me that, you, you..." Karkat apparently lost his grasp on English at that point, because the next words came out in Alternian, and they didn't sound at all pleasant.
"I can't even understand you, stop it," John shouted over top of him, desperately trying to get control of the situation back. Part of him was humiliatingly aware of how ridiculous he must look, standing there yelling at his alien boyfriend with his dick still hard and hanging out of his pants, covered in his own come.
Taking a deep breath, Karkat visibly struggled for control. His hands were clenched into fists so tight John was a little amazed he wasn't bleeding, and his face was flushed bright enough that Terezi would have had a field day. When he spoke again the words were in English, with a buzzing overtone that meant it was taking every ounce of control he had to keep them that way. "Don't ever come near me again. If I ever even see you, I will rip your alien bulge off and stuff it down your windtube until you choke on it. We are fucking finished."
"You're..." John's voice cracked, and now it was his turn to stare in utter heartbreak. "You're breaking up with me?"
The hiss he got in reply might not have been in a language he spoke, but the sentiment was clear enough that Karkat might as well have gotten a plane to write 'yes' across the sky. Especially when he turned and stormed out, slamming the door to John's bedroom so hard the cheap wood actually cracked down the middle.
John wasn't sure how long he just stood there like an idiot, staring at that crack, trying to convince himself that the whole thing had been a horrible dream.
ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]
EB: dave? dave are you there? oh god, please be there!
EB: i screwed up really big time, i don't even know how, but fuck.
EB: karkat just... oh god i can't even type it, i'm crying too hard.
EB: he dumped me!
EB: i don't know what i did wrong.
EB: oh shit you're probably with terezi, damn it!
EB: please pester me when you get this!!
ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]
EB: rose?
EB: are you there? i really need to talk to someone!
EB: actually this is right up your alley, totally need some prime psychoanalyzing here, ahahaha.
EB: rose?
EB: crap you're not here either.
ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG]
EB: jade please answer!
EB: please please don't be busy.
EB: jaaaaaaaade...
EB: damn it why did everyone leave their pesterchum on if they're busy?!
turntechGodhead [TG] started pestering ectoBiologist [EB]
TG: shit you let him catch you didnt you
TG: you are so screwed
TG: or not screwed actually
TG: and probably never will be
Karkat struggled to stay as still as possible. Every tiny twitch sent aftershocks through his overloaded nervous system, threatening to short out his think pan entirely. It hurt to move. It hurt to breathe. It hurt to exist. And he had only himself to blame.
Well, no, actually he placed a heaping portion of blame squarely on one John Egbert's hivestep. The human was most definitely entirely responsible for the horrible ache in Karkat's chest and the way his eyes kept prickling with tears.
But the heavy, throbbing need in his groin and the way he couldn't so much as blink without wanting to die from sheer lust was pretty much his own doing. He could have ended things days ago, weeks ago, and he wouldn't be in this state.
Maybe if he'd given in and just filled a pail with John a little earlier, the human wouldn't have cheated on him like that.
Hopy shit, maybe this was entirely his own fault.
Slamming his head against the desk didn't help to clear his mind much. He was so lost to lust that even pain felt good at this point. With a warbling chirp rattling the back of his windtube, Karkat went still again, breathing as shallowly as possible.
"Theriouthly, kk, I'm really worried about you," Sollux said, probably in response to noises Karkat was making. His moirail had come running the moment Karkat had told him over Trollian what had happened, which was at least a little gratifying. "Thith ithn't healthy, you were pushing the limit ath it wath."
"Yeah, and what the fuck am I supposed to do about it?" Karkat snarled. He knew the other troll was only trying to help, but they were both fully aware that only one kind of 'help' was going to do him any good. Everything else was only an irritant that he really didn't need right now.
"Fuck it, I'll finish it for you if no one elthe will," Sollux said, shocking Karkat into lifting his head to stare at his moirail. Sollux looked back at him grimly. "Conthidering the pathetic thtate you're in right now, it'th not hard to feel more pity for you than uthual."
"What? Did you get into the mind honey and fry your think pan again?" Karkat demanded, aghast on several levels. "Your matesprit is the fucking empress, she'll cull us both if you cheat on her!"
"Well, call it blackrom, then," Sollux offered. "Not like I'd mind pithing ed off, it'll jutht make him hotter."
"In what way could you possibly justify that as not taking pity on me?" Karkat asked, rolling his eyes. "No and no, I am not making you cheat on your quadrants just because my matesprit is a douche."
"Um... okay, it could be me being a really, really helpful moirail?" Sollux tried. "I'm thure ff would underthtand if I ekthplained it to her. She liketh you a lot."
"You've got a matesprit and a fucking kismesis, how do you even have anything left over to cheat with?" Karkat exclaimed. Sollux squirmed slightly, and Karkat narrowed his eyes. "Hang on. When was the last time you filled a pail?"
"Fuck, I don't know, forever ago," Sollux groaned, slumping over with his head in his hands. "I think they're both trying to impreth me by outlathting the other one, or thomething. But neither of them hath another concupithent quadrant! They only have to deal with their own teathing, while I'm getting it from both thideth."
"Hah, I thought you were being a little too concerned for my wellbeing," Karkat snorted. "You're not pitying me, you're feeling sorry for yourself."
"Ehehehe. A little of both?" Sollux said weakly, lifting his head again and shrugging sheepishly. "It'th killing me, and I thtill haven't gone nearly ath long ath you have. I don't even know how you're coherent at all right now."
"Neither do I," Karkat muttered, shivering as a gust of air came through the window and ghosted over his hyper-sensitive skin. "So why don't you just go fuck Eridan until he comes, and then impress Feferi with how much you can?"
"What, you mean, pail ed but not come mythelf?" Sollux considered it for a moment, eyes wide. "That'th... really cruel, kk. He'd totally kill me for it. I like it!"
"Glad one of us doesn't have to suffer," Karkat said, sighing. On the one hand, he had plenty of pity for the situation Sollux was stuck in, since he knew in excruciating detail how it felt to be the victim of far too much built-up genetic material. On the other hand, Sollux had two people he could use to help him work it off, which made Karkat hate him just a little.
"What about tz? She'd probably help," Sollux suggested. "If only becauthe the biggetht dithappointment of her entire life wath finding out that human genetic material ith alwayth white."
"I'm not asking Terezi to cheat on her matesprit, either," Karkat snarled. "Especially since her human actually puts out."
"I gueth kn ith out either way... gz hath a matethprit too... " Sollux mused, running through every troll Karkat had a close enough relationship with to possibly approach with his problem. "What about np?"
For a wild moment Karkat actually considered the possibility. Nepeta had never quite gotten over her inexplicable flushcrush on him, and she didn't have a matesprit yet. She probably would jump at the chance to fill a pail with him.
Then he hit his head against the desk again, even though it made him feel worse. "She'd think I was serious, I'd break her heart no matter how clear I made it that it was only an act of desperation," he said. "And then Equius would fucking throttle me for hurting her. Fuck no." Even without the threat of Equius' retribution for breaking his moirail's heart, Karkat didn't want to hurt Nepeta like that.
"You're too damn picky, ith your problem," Sollux said, but he sounded sympathetic. "Why did you let it drag on tho long, anyway? You wouldn't be in half thith much agony if you hadn't pushed it tho far."
For a moment Karkat debated pretending he hadn't heard the question. Sollux might be his moirail, but he had an odd way of showing it sometimes, and he was far too fond of mocking Karkat. Unfortunately Karkat knew in the end Sollux would nag it out of him, and the teasing would only be ten times worse because refusing to answer made it obvious that Karkat was embarrassed by his reason.
"I wanted it to be perfect," he finally mumbled into the desk. "It took us so long to get everything right, and I just... wanted to make it really good for him."
There was a long pause, and when Karkat dared to peek up at Sollux, he found the other troll regarding him with a mixture of pity and exasperation. "You are thuch an unbelievable thap, kk," he said, his tone unexpectedly gentle. Perhaps correctly interpreting the confusion in Karkat's expression, he added, "Oh, don't worry, I'll taunt you about it plenty later. But I think you're tortured enough for the moment."
"Yeah." Sighing, Karkat laid his forehead on the desk again, savouring the brief sensation of coolness against his skin before the metal heated up to match his feverish temperature. "Thanks."
"I really am worried about you, though," Sollux insisted. "You can't even move without chirping, and you shiver every time you breathe. I could... do the thame thing to you that you thuggethted I do to ed. It doethn't count ath cheating if I don't get off, right?" He sounded hesitant, which told Karkat his friend was actually serious this time.
"You're my fucking moirail, Captor, would you stop propositioning me for sex? It's creepy." Despite his harsh words, Karkat barely managed to suppress a shudder of longing at the thought. Shit, he really was too far gone if he was seriously considering letting his moirail pail him. One-sided, at that.
"I don't even have to touch you, if it'd make you feel better about it," Sollux promised softly, and there was an ionic crackle in the air a split second before Karkat felt ghostly pressure against the base of his horns.
"Nnnngh don't... I can't... you shouldn't," Karkat stammered, horribly torn. He was glad the touch on his horns left him limp, because otherwise he'd be writhing and that much movement would be incredibly painful at the moment. "That's sick, it's fucking depraved, it's... it's... shit, who the fuck am I kidding?" With a quivering warble, he gave in to what had to be inevitable. They both knew it was the only solution. "Yessss, fucking please."
"Eheh, I'm imprethed you held out tho long," Sollux chuckled. "Where'th your bucket?"
"Closet," Karkat choked out, shuddering as the electrifying psionic touch trailed down from his horns to catch the back of his neck in a vice grip. His eyes were rolling back in his head, making it rather hard to see anything, but he heard the squeak of the closet door opening, followed by the rattle of the pail's handle against its side as Sollux brought it out. Just that sound was enough to make Karkat warble again, knowing how close he was to feeling the first relief he'd had in days. Hell, in weeks.
His hands were shaking so hard it took him three tries to undo his pants, but finally he managed to shove them down to his knees. He slid off the chair to kneel over the pail, panting harshly for air and steadying himself with one hand gripping the edge of the desk with a white-knuckled grip. His other hand dropped to cover his bulge, making him cry out at the sudden increase in sensation.
Then the thrilling tingle of the psionic pressure was there, too; twining through his fingers to tease at his bulge, sliding up into his nook and pushing just right at the spot that was impossible for Karkat to reach himself without tearing up his most sensitive parts with his own claws.
Under other circumstances Karkat might have been embarrassed that it took all of two seconds of pressure there to unlock the floodgates, but he was too busy keening as the overwhelming rush of release hit him. His back arched so hard he was faintly amazed his spine didn't crack, and the sound of his genetic material hitting the pail made his breath catch in his windtube.
Then the psionic touch vanished from everywhere all at once, and Karkat nearly screamed as the release of fluid stopped as abruptly as it had started. He lost his grip on the desk and collapsed forward onto his hands and knees, barely managing to avoid knocking over the pail in the process. He dug his claws into the floor and swore helplessly, fighting to remember how to breathe.
"Shit," Sollux said, the sound a low rasp in his throat that was hardly more than a chirp. "Shit, shit... I'm thorry, kk, I can't... fuck."
Finally managing to raise his head, Karkat saw that Sollux was hunched over in his chair, arms wrapped tight around his middle. The other troll had bitten his lip so hard there were trails of yellow blood creeping down over his chin, and he looked about as miserable as Karkat felt.
"What..." Karkat managed, stunned both by the horrible tease of losing the relief and by the sight of his moirail in apparent agony.
"I'm... fuck, I'm too near to breaking, mythelf," Sollux explained helplessly. "I can't conthentrate when you're... when you're making noitheth like that, a-and the pail... I can't, I'm thorry..."
"Shit," Karkat groaned, and dropped his forehead to the floor again. They were both idiots for not realizing what would inevitably happen, though Karkat at least had somewhat more excuse than Sollux did. It would be hard enough for any troll to hear someone else keening like that without getting worked up themselves, especially when you added in the sound of fluid hitting the pail. Sollux was already on edge and desperate, so it must have been like a kick in the bulge to hear his moirail making those noises. Of course he couldn't concentrate enough to maintain a delicate psionic touch like that.
"I'll... I'll go find ed and ff and work it off, and then I'll come back and finish helping you, I thwear," Sollux promised him, voice shaking.
"No... fuck, forget it," Karkat sighed, slowly pushing himself upright. He still felt heavy and aching with the built-up genetic material in his groin, but he'd released enough of it that it was no longer an all-consuming need. He wasn't even sure he could come again just yet, though he was certainly a long way from empty. "I can at least function, that's enough. Doing it again would be cheating, we have no excuse."
"Are you thure?" Sollux asked, but he sounded just a little relieved. "I feel like the wortht kind of bulge-blocker..."
"Just forget it, I said," Karkat snapped. He couldn't quite bring himself to look right at Sollux as he fumbled to get his pants done up again. He shoved the partially-filled bucket under his desk where it was at least no longer directly in sight. "Why are you still even here? Go torture your kismesis or something."
"Nnnh... gimme a minute until I can walk again," Sollux said, with a noise that might have been a chirp or just a breathy chuckle. "Jn doethn't know what he threw away, kk. You're hot ath fuck when you're coming."
"Sh-shut up, idiot," Karkat said, blushing so hard he was amazed he didn't rupture the blood vessels in his face. "I don't want to hear that from my fucking moirail, you sick fuck!"
"Eheheh, thorry," Sollux said, but he didn't sound sorry at all.
"Yeah, whatever," Karkat said, and pulled himself back up into his chair, flipping open his husktop to give him something to think about other than what they'd just done. There was one thing he had to do before he could ignore it completely and pretend it never happened, though. "Thanks," he muttered, putting as much of his sincerity into the word as he could stand to show.
"If I thay 'anytime' you're going to gut me, aren't you?"
"Yes, what the fuck is wrong with you, get out of my hive!"
Karkat was so damned lucky to have such a good moirail, especially since it turned out his matesprit was such an asshole.
Now if only he could convince himself that he wouldn't still rather have done it with the asshole.
Title: Worth The Wait
Kink: Orgasm Denial/Control
Series: Homestuck
Pairing: John/Karkat, but some Sollux/Karkat snuck in there
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: It's a fic for kink bingo. It's kinky, and X-rated. 'Nuff said.
Length: 15450
Teasing can be frustrating, but it will all be worth it in the end - right?
It should have been perfect.
The game was over and the world had been restored - both worlds, combined together in a new multi-cultural environment that was a million times better than either had been separately. John had gotten over his issues about admitting that he was a homosexual, or at least admitting that it didn't matter because he wanted to be with Karkat too much to care about details like gender. They'd even managed to safely navigate the minefield created by their different definitions of 'love' and emerge on the other side with a relationship that was satisfying to both of them. It had taken them years to get it all sorted out, but it had all been worth it.
It should have been perfect, and it very nearly was, except for one tiny, niggling little detail. Karkat was surprisingly shy about sex. Or something.
Actually 'god-damned cocktease' was a better description than 'shy'.
'Shy' certainly didn't describe the way that Karkat practically attacked him the moment they were alone in the room together, lips sealed in a hungry kiss and hands diving straight for John's pants, fumbling with the fastenings in his haste to have his hands on John's cock. He'd already ruined more than one pair of pants that way, tearing the fabric with his claws, so John quickly helped him get them off.
Then he went for Karkat's pants in return, and felt encouraged by the way Karkat readily lifted his hips to help, making a needy noise in the back of his throat. Maybe this time, Karkat wouldn't get cold feet on him and back off at the last second. Maybe.
Maybe John wouldn't kill him for it if he did it again. Maybe.
"Yessss," he groaned, one hand digging into the bony angles of Karkat's hip, the other hand carefully coaxing his boyfriend's bulge out from behind the bony protective shield. It didn't take much coaxing - Karkat was already writhing in his hands, and it seemed like he was every bit as desperate for completion as John was. But he always seemed just as into it as John, and something always held him back at the end.
"C'mon, Karkat, please, please," John whimpered. They still had their shirts on, but it didn't really matter. Karkat's hand was on John's dick, pumping the way he had learned that John liked it best, and if he kept this up John was going to come in about three seconds flat.
Fuck, maybe that was the trick of it - he just needed to overwhelm Karkat with sensation so fast that he'd come before he realized what was happening. Surely, surely once they'd done it the first time, whatever it was that was making him so hesitant would be dealt with and they wouldn't have to go through this again.
He twined his fingers around the length of the bulge, stroking as much of the surface as he could reach. Karkat was panting and making the odd little rasping chirps that John had learned were the equivalent of moans for trolls. With an effort John forced himself to pull away from Karkat's hand on him, drawing a quizzical sound from Karkat. Before the troll could realize what he was up to, John dropped to his knees and had his mouth wrapped around the tip of Karkat's bulge.
They'd never done this before - between the exquisite sensitivity of troll bulges and the unbelievable sharpness of troll teeth, John was pretty sure it was an act that just wouldn't occur to any troll in their right mind. Karkat yelped, a sound that had more to do with fear than arousal, and dug his hands into John's hair like he was going to yank John away from him. But John managed to get his tongue on the bulge in his mouth before Karkat pulled him away, and Karkat shuddered and melted against the wall, fingers loosening in John's hair.
When John tentatively sucked on the soft flesh in his mouth, Karkat made a high-pitched warbling noise that was unlike anything he'd heard from his boyfriend before. The sound was at once both desperate and pleading, and John was sure he'd finally found the right way to push Karkat over the edge without freaking him out somehow first.
But then the shaking hands in his hair went tight again, yanking at him to try to pry him away, and Karkat was babbling at him in Alternian. John wasn't sure of the exact translation, but he'd heard that particular combination of buzzes and clicks often enough over the last few weeks to be pretty sure it meant something like 'wait, fuck, wait, stop!'
For a moment John was tempted to keep going, to ignore the increasingly urgent attempts his boyfriend was making to pry him off. Surely whatever it was that was holding Karkat back, he'd be grateful when John showed him that there was no reason for them to keep torturing themselves this way.
Then Karkat managed to croak out a single word in English, and though it was a little mangled it was most definitely 'stop', and John reluctantly came back to his senses.
He pulled back, panting, fighting the urge to punch something. Karkat, the wall, it didn't much matter, just something. He had absolutely, positively no desire to do this without his boyfriend's full and enthusiastic consent - but Karkat was amazingly good at making him forget that in the heat of the moment.
Without John's hands at his hips to help support him, Karkat's knees gave way. He collapsed down like a rag doll and ended up sprawled half over John's lap, arms thrown over John's shoulders to keep him upright, panting straight into John's ear. "Not yet," he was saying, over and over again, the English blurred by the effort it took him to speak the alien language when he was this overcome. "Not yet, not yet, fuck..." and then a string of Alternian far too complex for John to have any idea what it meant.
"Karkaaaaaat," John moaned, shaking with the effort it took not to thrust his aching cock up against the soft ass pressed into his lap.
"I can't, I can't, shit," Karkat moaned, obviously having serious trouble managing to be coherent in English. He closed the distance between them in a sloppy kiss, murmuring against John's lips, "I love you, fuck, you are... the most pitiful fucking creature on, on any planet, I love you so much..."
"I love you too, but you're going to kill me," John told him. The first time Karkat had kissed him and said those things after pulling away he'd been hopeful, but now he knew it was just his boyfriend's way of trying to console him before he withdrew completely.
As a last ditch effort John croaked out the phrase he'd begged Terezi to teach him, practicing over and over until she stopped laughing quite so hard and admitted that it was at least understandable. He didn't know the literal translation, but she'd told him it was the most heartfelt expression of pity a troll could make, something only ever said to a matesprit.
Karkat shuddered and went absolutely still against him, apparently even forgetting to breathe for a moment. When he did answer it was incomprehensible, but the emotion behind the foreign words was more than strong enough for John to understand - love, pity, whatever word they wanted to use for it, it was a confirmation of an unbreakable bond between them that both of them cherished above all else.
Then Karkat was pulling away, scrambling up on legs still barely willing to support him, fumbling to get his pants done up again. John just sat there and stared up at him, feeling dull and battered with the tidal-wave force of the emotions and sensations they'd just gone through in probably less than ten minutes total.
"I love you, fuck, why does this have to be so gog-damned hard?" Karkat groaned. "And you're not helping, damn it! Tomorrow, shit, tomorrow, I can't take any more of this."
And then he was gone, and John tumbled over onto his side on the carpet with a curse. His hand was around his dick probably even before Karkat was out of the house, but he didn't care. Tomorrow they would just go through it all again, and he had no idea why Karkat seemed to want to torture them both like this but it was going to drive John out of his mind.
He came hard, all over his hand and the floor, hips bucking up into his hand hard enough that he was probably going to end up with carpet burn on one side. Afterwards he lay sprawled out and panting, struggling to recover his equilibrium.
At moments like this, alone in his room and aching with the need to feel Karkat against him, John almost wished they'd never gotten past kissing. He missed the long hours they used to spend in each other's company, watching movies or playing games or just hanging out, enjoying their time together. He missed the long discussions about their feelings and cultures and how they'd grown up, or what they wanted to do in the future now that they had futures again. He especially missed the sweet, prolonged make-out sessions, hands and mouths tentatively exploring and spending half a day or more just soaking up contact with the boy that he loved.
Now they hardly ever saw each other for longer than maybe half an hour, tops, because the moment they were alone they were tearing at each other's clothes. It never took long to reach the point of no return, and then Karkat would flee, because they both knew that if they spent another minute in each other's company they were going to break down completely.
John felt like he'd lost a lover and gained a cockteasing sex buddy. He wanted his lover back.
EB: i'm going insane, i'm serious!
EB: he's a damn tease and it's killing me.
TG: yeah i hear you bro
TG: dating a troll is a one way ticket to blue ballsville on the cockblock express
EB: i nearly... pushed him too far yesterday.
EB: he said 'stop' and i almost didn't.
TG: dude not cool
TG: so far from cool youre roasting in the middle of a heatwave of epic proportions
EB: i know, i know!
EB: i'd rather kill myself than hurt him.
EB: but it's kinda hard to remember that when he's driving me crazy.
TG: just do what i do
TG: take care of it right before he comes over
TG: then you can chill and take it in stride
TG: fuck speaking of terezi will be here soon
TG: shes pretty damn close to breaking so its getting a little intense if you know what i mean
TG: but bros before hos so if you still need me...
EB: no no i'm fine, go ahead!
EB: no reason we should both suffer.
EB: good luck!
TG: yeah thanks
TG: you too
turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB]
turntechGodhead [TG] started pestering ectoBiologist [EB]
TG: dont worry it is totally worth it in the end
turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB]
Leaning back in his computer chair, John heaved a deep sigh. He hoped Dave was right - no, he was sure Dave was right. It would all be worth it in the end. Though he was a little confused how Dave would know that, if Terezi was giving him the same runaround that Karkat was giving John.
For that matter, Terezi and Dave had worked out their issues a lot faster than Karkat and John had. And Terezi was still holding out on Dave?
Groaning, John wondered if that meant he was never going to get to home base with Karkat. The thought was more than a little depressing, especially since there was still a part of him that would honestly rather have Karkat as a friend he could spend hours with than a lover he only got to see for frantic minutes at a time.
Damn it, he was not going to let his boyfriend run off again without talking about it this time. If he had to tie Karkat to the bed... mmm, actually, that wasn't a bad idea at all... no, wait. Talk, they needed to talk. Shaking his head, John smacked both his cheeks hard with the flat of his palms, trying to knock some sense back into his poor, hormone-addled brain.
One thing was certain; neither of them would be capable of doing any talking if they started off the same way they always did. Taking Dave's advice seemed to be the smartest course of action. Glancing at the clock, John confirmed that he should still have enough time left before Karkat arrived. Unless the troll ran the whole way between his hive and John's house, it usually took him at least twenty minutes to get there, and that was assuming he'd actually left at the moment he'd signed off.
Quickly undoing his pants, John eased his dick out and circled his fingers around it. He was already half hard - just knowing that Karkat was on his way over was enough to do that to him, these days. Tipping his head back, he closed his eyes and pictured Karkat there in front of him. It wasn't hard to imagine the troll perched awkwardly on John's lap, with one arm around John's shoulders and the other hand firmly on John's dick, squeezing him just the way he liked it.
And slowly, too - not the frantic pace they shared lately, but the way they'd done it when they'd first moved beyond kissing, when Karkat had been exploring his 'alien' body with a sense of fascination and wonder, and everything had been intense and new and wonderful. John remembered a day when Karkat had set out to discover every possible sound a human might make during sex, trying different combinations of touching and stroking to see what would affect John the most.
They'd had so much fun learning each other's hot spots and turn-ons. Even as the memory pushed John rapidly towards completion, it left a hollow ache in his chest and a lump in his throat that made his moans sound almost pitiful.
Part of him wanted to draw it out, to drag as much satisfaction as he could from this so he'd be that much better able to handle himself when Karkat was all over him in just a few minutes, but he knew he needed to be fast. Next time he'd start earlier, he promised himself, but for now even a fast, crappy orgasm would be better than nothing.
Squeezing a little harder, he started rocking his hips up into the motion, breath coming short as he neared the edge. He wished it was really Karkat who was doing this, wished he could feel his boyfriend's hand on his dick and hear the troll's voice in his ear.
"What the fuck are you doing?"
The words were so incompatible with the fantasy in his mind that John's eyes flew open, but it still took him a moment of befuddled staring to register that yes, Karkat was actually standing in his doorway, flushed and out of breath, staring back at John with a shocked and horrified expression.
With an embarrassed cry John jerked his hand away from his dick, but he had already hit the point of no return. Even without further stimulation he couldn't stop himself from coming, his whole body throbbing with the frustratingly insufficient sensation. It wasn't anywhere near enough, it only left him craving more contact. Preferably from the troll not three feet away from him.
The troll who was gaping at him with wide eyes, mouth somewhere around his knees and lower lip actually wobbling. He looked as if he was completely heartbroken. Heartshattered, more like.
"Kar...kat?" John gasped when he could speak again, feeling a painful fist squeezing around his own heart in answer to his boyfriend's expression. "Karkat, what..." Unthinking he pushed himself up out of the chair and reached out, driven to do anything to wipe that look off Karkat's face.
Hissing at him, Karkat smacked his hand away before he could make contact, not bothering to be careful of his claws. John yelped and cradled his now-bleeding hand against his chest. "Don't touch me," Karkat snarled at him, the words barely understandable in his fury. The heartbreak was rapidly being replaced by rage and betrayal, and he took three quick steps back to put him firmly out of John's reach. "Don't you fucking touch me, you piece of utter shit. Fuck, you give shit a bad name. Shit is so much better than you, it might as well be on a higher fucking plane of existence. I'd rather fuck a piece of shit than you!"
"What?" Thoroughly confused and more than a little hurt, John frantically tried to make sense of the situation. It was kind of embarrassing for Karkat to catch him jerking off like that, and he'd expected maybe to endure quite a lot of teasing about not being able to wait, but he couldn't understand why Karkat would be so mad at him.
"You can take your pathetic, cheating cock and stuff it up your prankster's gambit," Karkat shouted at him, practically vibrating with anger. "Sure as shit that gambit is the only thing you're ever going to fill, you grubfucking nookwiff. No, you know what, even grubs would refuse to fuck you. They would slither right out of your slimy little hands and smash their own brains out on the ground before they'd let you touch them."
"Karkat!" Now John was starting to feel angry as well as bewildered, if only in response to the utter rage Karkat was spewing at him. "Will you stop ranting at me and start making sense? What are you even so mad about?"
"Don't give me that, you, you..." Karkat apparently lost his grasp on English at that point, because the next words came out in Alternian, and they didn't sound at all pleasant.
"I can't even understand you, stop it," John shouted over top of him, desperately trying to get control of the situation back. Part of him was humiliatingly aware of how ridiculous he must look, standing there yelling at his alien boyfriend with his dick still hard and hanging out of his pants, covered in his own come.
Taking a deep breath, Karkat visibly struggled for control. His hands were clenched into fists so tight John was a little amazed he wasn't bleeding, and his face was flushed bright enough that Terezi would have had a field day. When he spoke again the words were in English, with a buzzing overtone that meant it was taking every ounce of control he had to keep them that way. "Don't ever come near me again. If I ever even see you, I will rip your alien bulge off and stuff it down your windtube until you choke on it. We are fucking finished."
"You're..." John's voice cracked, and now it was his turn to stare in utter heartbreak. "You're breaking up with me?"
The hiss he got in reply might not have been in a language he spoke, but the sentiment was clear enough that Karkat might as well have gotten a plane to write 'yes' across the sky. Especially when he turned and stormed out, slamming the door to John's bedroom so hard the cheap wood actually cracked down the middle.
John wasn't sure how long he just stood there like an idiot, staring at that crack, trying to convince himself that the whole thing had been a horrible dream.
ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]
EB: dave? dave are you there? oh god, please be there!
EB: i screwed up really big time, i don't even know how, but fuck.
EB: karkat just... oh god i can't even type it, i'm crying too hard.
EB: he dumped me!
EB: i don't know what i did wrong.
EB: oh shit you're probably with terezi, damn it!
EB: please pester me when you get this!!
ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]
EB: rose?
EB: are you there? i really need to talk to someone!
EB: actually this is right up your alley, totally need some prime psychoanalyzing here, ahahaha.
EB: rose?
EB: crap you're not here either.
ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG]
EB: jade please answer!
EB: please please don't be busy.
EB: jaaaaaaaade...
EB: damn it why did everyone leave their pesterchum on if they're busy?!
turntechGodhead [TG] started pestering ectoBiologist [EB]
TG: shit you let him catch you didnt you
TG: you are so screwed
TG: or not screwed actually
TG: and probably never will be
Karkat struggled to stay as still as possible. Every tiny twitch sent aftershocks through his overloaded nervous system, threatening to short out his think pan entirely. It hurt to move. It hurt to breathe. It hurt to exist. And he had only himself to blame.
Well, no, actually he placed a heaping portion of blame squarely on one John Egbert's hivestep. The human was most definitely entirely responsible for the horrible ache in Karkat's chest and the way his eyes kept prickling with tears.
But the heavy, throbbing need in his groin and the way he couldn't so much as blink without wanting to die from sheer lust was pretty much his own doing. He could have ended things days ago, weeks ago, and he wouldn't be in this state.
Maybe if he'd given in and just filled a pail with John a little earlier, the human wouldn't have cheated on him like that.
Hopy shit, maybe this was entirely his own fault.
Slamming his head against the desk didn't help to clear his mind much. He was so lost to lust that even pain felt good at this point. With a warbling chirp rattling the back of his windtube, Karkat went still again, breathing as shallowly as possible.
"Theriouthly, kk, I'm really worried about you," Sollux said, probably in response to noises Karkat was making. His moirail had come running the moment Karkat had told him over Trollian what had happened, which was at least a little gratifying. "Thith ithn't healthy, you were pushing the limit ath it wath."
"Yeah, and what the fuck am I supposed to do about it?" Karkat snarled. He knew the other troll was only trying to help, but they were both fully aware that only one kind of 'help' was going to do him any good. Everything else was only an irritant that he really didn't need right now.
"Fuck it, I'll finish it for you if no one elthe will," Sollux said, shocking Karkat into lifting his head to stare at his moirail. Sollux looked back at him grimly. "Conthidering the pathetic thtate you're in right now, it'th not hard to feel more pity for you than uthual."
"What? Did you get into the mind honey and fry your think pan again?" Karkat demanded, aghast on several levels. "Your matesprit is the fucking empress, she'll cull us both if you cheat on her!"
"Well, call it blackrom, then," Sollux offered. "Not like I'd mind pithing ed off, it'll jutht make him hotter."
"In what way could you possibly justify that as not taking pity on me?" Karkat asked, rolling his eyes. "No and no, I am not making you cheat on your quadrants just because my matesprit is a douche."
"Um... okay, it could be me being a really, really helpful moirail?" Sollux tried. "I'm thure ff would underthtand if I ekthplained it to her. She liketh you a lot."
"You've got a matesprit and a fucking kismesis, how do you even have anything left over to cheat with?" Karkat exclaimed. Sollux squirmed slightly, and Karkat narrowed his eyes. "Hang on. When was the last time you filled a pail?"
"Fuck, I don't know, forever ago," Sollux groaned, slumping over with his head in his hands. "I think they're both trying to impreth me by outlathting the other one, or thomething. But neither of them hath another concupithent quadrant! They only have to deal with their own teathing, while I'm getting it from both thideth."
"Hah, I thought you were being a little too concerned for my wellbeing," Karkat snorted. "You're not pitying me, you're feeling sorry for yourself."
"Ehehehe. A little of both?" Sollux said weakly, lifting his head again and shrugging sheepishly. "It'th killing me, and I thtill haven't gone nearly ath long ath you have. I don't even know how you're coherent at all right now."
"Neither do I," Karkat muttered, shivering as a gust of air came through the window and ghosted over his hyper-sensitive skin. "So why don't you just go fuck Eridan until he comes, and then impress Feferi with how much you can?"
"What, you mean, pail ed but not come mythelf?" Sollux considered it for a moment, eyes wide. "That'th... really cruel, kk. He'd totally kill me for it. I like it!"
"Glad one of us doesn't have to suffer," Karkat said, sighing. On the one hand, he had plenty of pity for the situation Sollux was stuck in, since he knew in excruciating detail how it felt to be the victim of far too much built-up genetic material. On the other hand, Sollux had two people he could use to help him work it off, which made Karkat hate him just a little.
"What about tz? She'd probably help," Sollux suggested. "If only becauthe the biggetht dithappointment of her entire life wath finding out that human genetic material ith alwayth white."
"I'm not asking Terezi to cheat on her matesprit, either," Karkat snarled. "Especially since her human actually puts out."
"I gueth kn ith out either way... gz hath a matethprit too... " Sollux mused, running through every troll Karkat had a close enough relationship with to possibly approach with his problem. "What about np?"
For a wild moment Karkat actually considered the possibility. Nepeta had never quite gotten over her inexplicable flushcrush on him, and she didn't have a matesprit yet. She probably would jump at the chance to fill a pail with him.
Then he hit his head against the desk again, even though it made him feel worse. "She'd think I was serious, I'd break her heart no matter how clear I made it that it was only an act of desperation," he said. "And then Equius would fucking throttle me for hurting her. Fuck no." Even without the threat of Equius' retribution for breaking his moirail's heart, Karkat didn't want to hurt Nepeta like that.
"You're too damn picky, ith your problem," Sollux said, but he sounded sympathetic. "Why did you let it drag on tho long, anyway? You wouldn't be in half thith much agony if you hadn't pushed it tho far."
For a moment Karkat debated pretending he hadn't heard the question. Sollux might be his moirail, but he had an odd way of showing it sometimes, and he was far too fond of mocking Karkat. Unfortunately Karkat knew in the end Sollux would nag it out of him, and the teasing would only be ten times worse because refusing to answer made it obvious that Karkat was embarrassed by his reason.
"I wanted it to be perfect," he finally mumbled into the desk. "It took us so long to get everything right, and I just... wanted to make it really good for him."
There was a long pause, and when Karkat dared to peek up at Sollux, he found the other troll regarding him with a mixture of pity and exasperation. "You are thuch an unbelievable thap, kk," he said, his tone unexpectedly gentle. Perhaps correctly interpreting the confusion in Karkat's expression, he added, "Oh, don't worry, I'll taunt you about it plenty later. But I think you're tortured enough for the moment."
"Yeah." Sighing, Karkat laid his forehead on the desk again, savouring the brief sensation of coolness against his skin before the metal heated up to match his feverish temperature. "Thanks."
"I really am worried about you, though," Sollux insisted. "You can't even move without chirping, and you shiver every time you breathe. I could... do the thame thing to you that you thuggethted I do to ed. It doethn't count ath cheating if I don't get off, right?" He sounded hesitant, which told Karkat his friend was actually serious this time.
"You're my fucking moirail, Captor, would you stop propositioning me for sex? It's creepy." Despite his harsh words, Karkat barely managed to suppress a shudder of longing at the thought. Shit, he really was too far gone if he was seriously considering letting his moirail pail him. One-sided, at that.
"I don't even have to touch you, if it'd make you feel better about it," Sollux promised softly, and there was an ionic crackle in the air a split second before Karkat felt ghostly pressure against the base of his horns.
"Nnnngh don't... I can't... you shouldn't," Karkat stammered, horribly torn. He was glad the touch on his horns left him limp, because otherwise he'd be writhing and that much movement would be incredibly painful at the moment. "That's sick, it's fucking depraved, it's... it's... shit, who the fuck am I kidding?" With a quivering warble, he gave in to what had to be inevitable. They both knew it was the only solution. "Yessss, fucking please."
"Eheh, I'm imprethed you held out tho long," Sollux chuckled. "Where'th your bucket?"
"Closet," Karkat choked out, shuddering as the electrifying psionic touch trailed down from his horns to catch the back of his neck in a vice grip. His eyes were rolling back in his head, making it rather hard to see anything, but he heard the squeak of the closet door opening, followed by the rattle of the pail's handle against its side as Sollux brought it out. Just that sound was enough to make Karkat warble again, knowing how close he was to feeling the first relief he'd had in days. Hell, in weeks.
His hands were shaking so hard it took him three tries to undo his pants, but finally he managed to shove them down to his knees. He slid off the chair to kneel over the pail, panting harshly for air and steadying himself with one hand gripping the edge of the desk with a white-knuckled grip. His other hand dropped to cover his bulge, making him cry out at the sudden increase in sensation.
Then the thrilling tingle of the psionic pressure was there, too; twining through his fingers to tease at his bulge, sliding up into his nook and pushing just right at the spot that was impossible for Karkat to reach himself without tearing up his most sensitive parts with his own claws.
Under other circumstances Karkat might have been embarrassed that it took all of two seconds of pressure there to unlock the floodgates, but he was too busy keening as the overwhelming rush of release hit him. His back arched so hard he was faintly amazed his spine didn't crack, and the sound of his genetic material hitting the pail made his breath catch in his windtube.
Then the psionic touch vanished from everywhere all at once, and Karkat nearly screamed as the release of fluid stopped as abruptly as it had started. He lost his grip on the desk and collapsed forward onto his hands and knees, barely managing to avoid knocking over the pail in the process. He dug his claws into the floor and swore helplessly, fighting to remember how to breathe.
"Shit," Sollux said, the sound a low rasp in his throat that was hardly more than a chirp. "Shit, shit... I'm thorry, kk, I can't... fuck."
Finally managing to raise his head, Karkat saw that Sollux was hunched over in his chair, arms wrapped tight around his middle. The other troll had bitten his lip so hard there were trails of yellow blood creeping down over his chin, and he looked about as miserable as Karkat felt.
"What..." Karkat managed, stunned both by the horrible tease of losing the relief and by the sight of his moirail in apparent agony.
"I'm... fuck, I'm too near to breaking, mythelf," Sollux explained helplessly. "I can't conthentrate when you're... when you're making noitheth like that, a-and the pail... I can't, I'm thorry..."
"Shit," Karkat groaned, and dropped his forehead to the floor again. They were both idiots for not realizing what would inevitably happen, though Karkat at least had somewhat more excuse than Sollux did. It would be hard enough for any troll to hear someone else keening like that without getting worked up themselves, especially when you added in the sound of fluid hitting the pail. Sollux was already on edge and desperate, so it must have been like a kick in the bulge to hear his moirail making those noises. Of course he couldn't concentrate enough to maintain a delicate psionic touch like that.
"I'll... I'll go find ed and ff and work it off, and then I'll come back and finish helping you, I thwear," Sollux promised him, voice shaking.
"No... fuck, forget it," Karkat sighed, slowly pushing himself upright. He still felt heavy and aching with the built-up genetic material in his groin, but he'd released enough of it that it was no longer an all-consuming need. He wasn't even sure he could come again just yet, though he was certainly a long way from empty. "I can at least function, that's enough. Doing it again would be cheating, we have no excuse."
"Are you thure?" Sollux asked, but he sounded just a little relieved. "I feel like the wortht kind of bulge-blocker..."
"Just forget it, I said," Karkat snapped. He couldn't quite bring himself to look right at Sollux as he fumbled to get his pants done up again. He shoved the partially-filled bucket under his desk where it was at least no longer directly in sight. "Why are you still even here? Go torture your kismesis or something."
"Nnnh... gimme a minute until I can walk again," Sollux said, with a noise that might have been a chirp or just a breathy chuckle. "Jn doethn't know what he threw away, kk. You're hot ath fuck when you're coming."
"Sh-shut up, idiot," Karkat said, blushing so hard he was amazed he didn't rupture the blood vessels in his face. "I don't want to hear that from my fucking moirail, you sick fuck!"
"Eheheh, thorry," Sollux said, but he didn't sound sorry at all.
"Yeah, whatever," Karkat said, and pulled himself back up into his chair, flipping open his husktop to give him something to think about other than what they'd just done. There was one thing he had to do before he could ignore it completely and pretend it never happened, though. "Thanks," he muttered, putting as much of his sincerity into the word as he could stand to show.
"If I thay 'anytime' you're going to gut me, aren't you?"
"Yes, what the fuck is wrong with you, get out of my hive!"
Karkat was so damned lucky to have such a good moirail, especially since it turned out his matesprit was such an asshole.
Now if only he could convince himself that he wouldn't still rather have done it with the asshole.